Asking for help can be a problem for most people, but there comes a time when we just can’t make it on our own. For most believers this is not a problem, they simply trust in our Lord and Savior. Unfortunately, some Christians and non-believers don’t have God to turn to, so they have to put their trust in family, friends, and sometimes complete strangers.
For most of us, asking for help can seem like a weakness (even though it isn’t), it also requires us to define what “Help/Support” we need. We can’t expect others to know what we need or how to give us the support we need.
So, the first thing we need to do is figure out what we need, and then clearly define/show the people we want to help us, how they can best execute their plan.
If you need help with “asking” just contact someone at “Grief Fighters Anonymous.”
Contact us at: 1-416-500-8207 or grief@rogers.com
The Twelve Footprints To Acceptance
Note: The staff and management of GFA were so impressed with the organization “Alcoholics Anonymous” it has chosen to use them as a model in their overall programing. The GFA organization also recognizes the Salvation Army for their contributions to society and the world at large.
The two main requirements to be a part of “Grief Fighters Anonymous” is a desire to conquer “Grief” as a Mentor or admitting that you need help dealing with your grief.
“The Twelve Footprints ” was created by “Grief Fighters Anonymous” to be used as a guide between men and women to share their experience, strength, and hope with each other and to solve their common problems and help each other recover from the “Road Called Grief.”
The 12 Footprints for Christians suffering from “Grief” are:
1) I am powerless over “Grief.”
2) I need a power greater than myself.
3) I need to turn over my will and life to God.
4) I need to make a mental, physical, and spiritual inventory of myself.
5) I need to tell God and another’s why I need help.
6) I need to ask God to remove all obstacles hindering my recovery.
7) I need to ask God to remove all my shortcomings.
8) I need to make a list of people affected by my grief.
9) I need to make a list of people I’ve hurt during my grief
10) I need to continue to accept responsibility for my actions.
11) I need to keep an ongoing personal relationship with God.
12) I need to prepare myself to help and support others.
Initial Shock and Disbelief of Grief after a loved one dies – initial reaction
When someone close to you dies you may feel shock, disbelief, numbness, sadness, anger and loneliness. It may seem like everything is turned upside down. Everyone reacts differently and it is normal to experience many emotions. It is all part of the grieving process. During this time, it is important to take care of yourself. Shock/disbelief – It is normal to feel a sense of shock when someone close to you dies. Experiencing shock can mean you are having a physical and emotional reaction. You may feel dizzy, nauseous, dazed, numb, lonely or empty. As part of feeling shocked you may not believe that the news is real.
Shock may also mean that you feel nothing when you first hear of your loss. This is normal and within a very short time you will start to feel different emotions.
Shock is different for everyone and may last for a couple of days or weeks.
Shock may cause some people to react in an unusual way when they first hear the news of a death. It may be that a person may laugh hysterically. This is the result of the shock and not because they find the situation funny.
Some other effects you may encounter (experience) after your loss could be: headaches, feeling tired, achy muscles, nausea, sadness, anger, disbelief, despair, guilt, loneliness, forgetfulness, and lack of concentration, confusion, poor memory, changes in sleep patterns, bad dreams and nightmares, changes in appetite, not wanting to be around people, and crying continually.
Your beliefs may be challenged (this is normal)
Everyone should be able to grieve in their own way and time. They should not be pressured to be “strong” or given a “get yourself together” attitude from family and friends.
The best thing to do is to take it easy. If you feel like things are building up and you’re very confused then it’s time to get some help. You can contact someone from “Grief Fighters Anonymous” and if needed they will help you find the appropriate “Professional.”
Living day to day with “Grief”
There will come a time when a grieving person will start to make some sense of what’s happening and their mind will begin to listen to the voices in their head. Because each loss is unique, each person can adjust how long and how deeply they want to disconnect from their ordinary reality. Time does not always heal, but healing always takes time.
For at least a week after a loss, the grieving person is incapacitated (childlike). They need to be cared for as if they were a baby that needs their family and friends to hold them, feed them, and to take care of their every need.
The first month will be a major challenge for most grievers. It’s a period when they might feel they need to return their life to some form of normal reality. But they need to take things slow and take only baby steps as well as a clear mind. It’s good that they are starting to think of their responsibilities around work and families, but they can’t rush the process. There are 16 stages of grief and all who are grieving need to deal with these stages before they can fully move forward with their lives.
There is a “Grief Fighter Mentor” waiting to walk with you, until you can make it on your own.