The impact of bereavement
At the death of a loved one, we come to realize that having a “time for everything…and a season for every activity” includes having a “time to weep…a time to mourn”. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4) How we live through grief is unique to each individual, although there are many common elements:
Grief moves us emotionally – we can be sad, tearful, shocked, disbelieving, angry, depressed, heartbroken, anxious, guilty, confused, fearful and much more. Our thoughts may race. We may lack concentration.
Grief often impacts us physically, as we may not be able to sleep or we may not want to wake up; we may not eat or we may eat too much. The stress of grief can precipitate illness or worsen existing conditions.
Living with loss has a practical side. Dealing with funeral arrangements, managing a loved one’s affairs, getting rid of old clothes, returning disability equipment, closing bank accounts, cancelling contracts – and all whilst we are riding the rollercoaster of our grief emotions.
Our life may change considerably as a result of a loved one’s absence. We might need to adjust to living alone or not having caring responsibilities. We now shop and cook for one. Perhaps we have to do things that our loved one used to do for us. We might be lonely. We may fear for our future.
Grief can be isolating. Everybody else’s life seems to be going on just as it was, but our life is forever changed. Bereavement can also result in family conflicts. Tragedy can draw us together, but different styles of grieving and different personalities can also drive us apart.
Although our faith may bring us comfort, we are still human. Any of the emotional and practical consequences of grief can apply to us as Christians, just as much as to anyone else. In addition, we might find ourselves questioning long-held beliefs, wondering why God allowed what happened. This type of crisis of faith was described by C. S. Lewis in his book, “A Grief Observed.” We might feel guilty feeling the way we feel, however that is.
A way forward
Our life following bereavement might never be the same again. Still, we can find a way to live in these new circumstances, and in time regain our hope and joy.